Background and overview

I learnt more about the health system from being an inpatient than I had in 20 years of working as a neuropsychologist. I was unexpectedly diagnosed with two brain tumours on 4/9/13. They turned out to be grade IV Gliomas (glioblastoma multiforme (GBM)). After removal of the right parietal and left occipital tumours, I received the standard treatment under the Stupp protocol (combined Temozolamide (TMZ) and conformal radiotherapy 5 days/week for 6 weeks), but the TMZ had to be ceased after 5 weeks because I had started to develop pancytopenia, where more than one of my blood counts had begun to drop. By Christmas 2013, I had become anaemic and needed a couple of blood transfusions. I ended up in hospital for 3 weeks of the 2014 new year after experiencing my first seizure (suggestive of a right temporal lobe focus) on 31/12/13). They were so worried about my bone marrow, they did a biopsy. Luckily, it was all clear of any nasty disorders. It had just been suppressed by the TMZ My blood counts slowly returned to normal with daily injections of GCSF, which stimulate bone marrow function, for several months. For 17 months I was doing better each day, without any physical impairments or major cognitive problems A third brain tumour was found in the right temporal lobe on 2/1/15, and removed 6/1/15, only to reappear on 17/2/15 after I started to feel vague symptoms at the end of 2014. I had my 4th round of brain surgery on 1/3/15, followed by stereotaxic radio surgery of a residual, inoperable, tumour, on 17/4/15. I've been feeling like my old self again since that highly precise form of radiotherapy, and it feels fabulous.

My way of coping.
I choose to live in hope that everything will work out for the best. I've learnt that even though things are sometimes unpleasant, life and love go on forever. I put my faith in the life force that created and unites us all in love, across all time, space, and dimensions. I refuse to succumb to fear, which is an invention of our imaginations. There are an infinite number of things to fear, both in this world an in our imaginations, and most of them never eventuate. I choose not to dwell on them, and to focus instead on counting my many blessings, current and past, and to have faith and hope that if I look after the present moment, the future will look after itself.

If you're reading, and haven't been in touch, please don't be shy, send me a brief private message using the contact form on the right. It's nice to know who's out there. Blogging can leave me feeling a little isolated at times (I used to have recurrent dreams of being out on a limb over a canyon, or of starting to strip off in a crowded waiting room). Your emails are appreciated, although I can't necessarily answer all of them.


Thursday, 22 May 2014

Any allergies?

I have been lucky to be allergy-free until now. Sadly, it Looks like I now have an allergy to morphine. It caused localised redness and a small welt last night. Today, it caused redness and lots of welts, and a feeling of tightness in my chest. I had some ventolin, and they've got me on oxygen. My ECG was okay, need to have blood tests. The resident was relieved that it wasn't the anaphylactic reaction that it sounded like on the phone.
This is all so surreal, I just wish I was completely well. And I'm definitely having a gastroscopy, not a laparoscopy, some time this afternoon. There was some confusion about it. My surgeon rang last night and said gastroscopy, but laparoscopy was written in the notes. The surgeon has confirmed the former. I don't have the energy to get irritated about it. Just want to feel warm and pain-free.
Time for some intense meditation or sleep.After they stop tending to the bed bound woman with pressure sores in the bed next door. She's not happy. I had to leave the room last night when two orderlies helped two nurses to turn and wash her. It smelt like an adult-sized nappy change, poor thing. At least our rather stuffy room has fans, and I got to do 5 laps of the corridors.

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