Well, this has been an interesting week. I've felt well enough to take the boys to school, but have spent a couple of mornings in bed feeling very emotional, and have been feeling quite tired.
I got out of hospital at 7 on Sunday night (blood cultures okay, neutrophils good). I was tired, and looking forward to watching Doctor Who with the boys. It was irritating to discover they hasn't eaten dinner, and their school bags hadn't been packed for Monday, which demolished my fantasy of a relaxing night at home. It's hard not to be irritated by negativity and disorganisation when you're feeling exhausted and unwell. I'm finding it helps if I say I feel tired and sick, and remind my family I need rest and quiet, not 100 questions or attempts to engage me in conversation about anything other than happy topics.
I've been making use of my lorazepam this week, thanks to intermittent nausea and fatigue-related narkiness. I've also been getting to bed nice and early (530-6), I can't wait to get there tonight, once dinner is over.
Breast cancer has been in the news this week, with Angelina Jolie's announcement of having a prophylactic double mastectomy after discovering she had one of the BRCA genes.
I'm sure it must have been painful and difficult for her to go through, but she saw her mother fight breast cancer, and knows its better not to get it in the first place. At least she doesn't have to have chemo, and will hopefully never develop breast or ovarian cancer. It must help to have Brad Pitt as a loving and supportive partner ;)
I've always been advised that there's a very low chance that I have either BRCA gene, and that my risk wasn't greater than average. This gave me a false sense of security, along with having my breasts examined each year and being told I just had dense breasts. The left one, where the trouble was, felt more dense from when I had David. I just assumed it was because it was the more productive side from a lactation point of view. Note; never assume anything! Always ask Why? Why? Why? Until you get an answer.
I'm sharing a link to some common myths about breast cancer, we all need to be better educated about our bodies.
Much love to all of you.
X
http://au.lifestyle.yahoo.com/prevention/health/article/-/8198169/12-breast-cancer-myths-debunked/
A blog started in 2013 to inform family and friends about my treatment and progress for early breast cancer. Then I went and got two brain tumours,,both GBMs, completely unrelated to the breast cancer, so the blog continues.
Background and overview
I learnt more about the health system from being an inpatient than I had in 20 years of working as a neuropsychologist. I was unexpectedly diagnosed with two brain tumours on 4/9/13. They turned out to be grade IV Gliomas (glioblastoma multiforme (GBM)). After removal of the right parietal and left occipital tumours, I received the standard treatment under the Stupp protocol (combined Temozolamide (TMZ) and conformal radiotherapy 5 days/week for 6 weeks), but the TMZ had to be ceased after 5 weeks because I had started to develop pancytopenia, where more than one of my blood counts had begun to drop. By Christmas 2013, I had become anaemic and needed a couple of blood transfusions. I ended up in hospital for 3 weeks of the 2014 new year after experiencing my first seizure (suggestive of a right temporal lobe focus) on 31/12/13). They were so worried about my bone marrow, they did a biopsy. Luckily, it was all clear of any nasty disorders. It had just been suppressed by the TMZ My blood counts slowly returned to normal with daily injections of GCSF, which stimulate bone marrow function, for several months. For 17 months I was doing better each day, without any physical impairments or major cognitive problems A third brain tumour was found in the right temporal lobe on 2/1/15, and removed 6/1/15, only to reappear on 17/2/15 after I started to feel vague symptoms at the end of 2014. I had my 4th round of brain surgery on 1/3/15, followed by stereotaxic radio surgery of a residual, inoperable, tumour, on 17/4/15. I've been feeling like my old self again since that highly precise form of radiotherapy, and it feels fabulous.
My way of coping.
I choose to live in hope that everything will work out for the best. I've learnt that even though things are sometimes unpleasant, life and love go on forever. I put my faith in the life force that created and unites us all in love, across all time, space, and dimensions. I refuse to succumb to fear, which is an invention of our imaginations. There are an infinite number of things to fear, both in this world an in our imaginations, and most of them never eventuate. I choose not to dwell on them, and to focus instead on counting my many blessings, current and past, and to have faith and hope that if I look after the present moment, the future will look after itself.
If you're reading, and haven't been in touch, please don't be shy, send me a brief private message using the contact form on the right. It's nice to know who's out there. Blogging can leave me feeling a little isolated at times (I used to have recurrent dreams of being out on a limb over a canyon, or of starting to strip off in a crowded waiting room). Your emails are appreciated, although I can't necessarily answer all of them.
