Ben bought some new tyres for my old bike on saturday (a 1979 10-speed road bike), and we went for a ride in the fog on Sunday morning, despite me telling the boys it would be too cold. I was right, it was freezing, and the boys agreed that we should have waited until the afternoon. I rode my bike very carefully for first time since 1998. It was good to ride again, it will be even better when I'm stronger and more confident. I found myself singing and making silly jokes on Tuesday night, it was the first time I've felt like that in ages. It was wonderful to feel normal again, even though Ben asked if I was becoming manic. He's so hard to please...
It sounded like the roof was going to blow off last night, and I couldn't get back to sleep when I woke at 230 this morning. I found a disturbing post on Facebook from an American Stroke group where a 32 year-old woman wrote in, saying she'd just had her second stroke and was suffering terrible headaches and had started having seizures, and that her local hospital hadn't been able to help because of her young age. Some people had told her to seek a neurology referral, some said she should start blood thinners, but I wrote to say it was imperative that she go to a larger hospital urgently to find out the nature and cause of her strokes - occlusive strokes (due to blood clots) need blood thinners, but haemorrhagic strokes (due to ruptured aneurysms or arteriovenous malformations) will only bleed more with drugs like aspirin. She should be getting a CT scan and possibly an MRI or angiogram. I didn't say that headaches and seizures are more likely with aneurysms or AVMs, I didn't want to alarm her. I hope she reads my response and gets help. I can't believe she was told they didn't know how to help her because she was young. I felt happy writing my response, and realised I'm missing the satisfaction of feeling like I'm helping people that I used to get at work. It's a pity my energy levels aren't consistent enough for me to go back. I still get very tired each day, and sitting up out of bed is tiring. I hope that my energy levels will continue to improve if I sit up and go for a walk each day. I'm tired of not feeling well.
I can see why some people get sick of medical tests and medications and refuse to participate any more. It's dispiriting and exhausting to have to keep being compliant when you feel like crap and there's no end in sight. Days like Monday help me keep hopeful about the future, and I'm going to book a regular massage session every couple of weeks to have some regular self-care on my schedule.
The last thing to report is my opthalmology review from last week. I had my visual fields checked, which was a demoralising experience because I could hear the machine moving every time it flashed a light, but I couldn't see a quarter of them. As expected, I have a quadrantanopia in the lower right visual field, but luckily my peripheral vision is pretty good, and my central vision isn't too bad to preclude a return to driving some time in the future. The ophthalmologist said things can be expected to improve for up to 2 years after the surgery, and that we should repeat the assessment in 4-6 months time, and then consider an OT driving assessment, which would involve driving simulation tests and an on-road assessment in a dual-control car. I don't feel ready to drive again yet, so I don't mind waiting until the end of the year to do it. I'm hoping I'll feel better by then.
